There are so many things that make having twins a challenge...
I think the hardest part is that there always is someone to feed, someone to play with, someone to change, someone that needs rocking, or talking to... it never ends and while you try to do EVERYTHING you can you just still feel like a horrible Mother (and that is just trying to care for two!). Then on the other end you have this toddler that has SOOOO MUCH energy and just wants you to play at every MINUTE of the day. You just feel like you can never do it all perfect. For instance, Brooke is always so good and I always neglect her and tend to hold Rhead more since he just always needs more attention. So while I am holding him, nursing him, rocking him, talking to him I feel SO guilty that Brooke just has to sit there staring at the ceiling. I LOVE having a little girl and sometimes I just wish I could play with her ALL day and just have that time for me and her. But then I LOVE holding Rhead and I love seeing all the cute faces he makes and hearing him talk to me. AND then it is hard because while I LOVE holding a baby I also love going on walks with Carden and watching him learn to pedal his bike or see how fast he can push his truck! There are just so many to love and its hard because you just feel like your not giving enough...
8 comments:
You are amazing, Marin! This post is so well-written. I feel like that with my 3 and they are not under 2!
All I can say is that I feel the same way. No matter how fun I try to be, or how attentive I can get even with both...It can only last so long and I go back into neglect them both mode b/c it's "me time" and then I feel like a bad mom. Oh the guilt!
I can't even imagine what you are going through! I bet you are doing amazing though in making each kid feel special. There are only certain people that can handle twins PLUS a toddler and you couldn't be more perfect for the job. Just know that Heavenly Father doesn't give us anything we can't handle.
I think this is how every mother feels when they have two or more kids. It's such a transition!!! With one you can give them all the time in the world. But once you have more, your attention is divided---and it always will be. I used to feel guilty about that. But as my kids have grown, I've seen the advantages of it. My kids know they are not the "center of the universe" (unlike a lot of kids these days) and they've learned to be much more independent. So don't despair! You are doing what is right! There is a reason our Father in Heaven commanded us to multiply and replenish the earth, and he doesn't expect you to give 100% of your attention to every single child. He knows it's impossible...and it's all part of the plan! :)
yep, that's right! Try and let go of the guilt, as hard as it might be. You are putting the attention where it is needed, when it is needed. You will never be able to balance it all perfectly---and THAT'S OK!!!!! Just keep doing what you are doing and everything will be as perfect as it should be!
I just want to cry for you. That sounds so overwhelming. I feel overwhelmed with my two and they're not twins! One thing that my sister told me is to do ONE thing every day that helps you feel like a good mom. So, when you go to bed you can say, "I'm a good mom!" That could be, reading one extra story even though you have things to do, or teaching your child to help with a chore, or putting raisins in a smiley face on the peanut butter bread. You are incredible. I know that Lord gave you these children because He knew you were perfect for them.
I wish I had some words of wisdom but I don't. But I know you are an amazing person so I have no doubt you're an amazing person. Give it time. Soon they'll get old enough to play together and entertain each other. I promise it'll happen eventually.
Marin, you are doing an amazing job! And I totally know what you are feeling. It will get easier I promise! Mitchell finally plays with the twins and pushes them on the swing and they are so much more independent. When you hit that day you will miss all the holding you get to do now! At least I do. You are an amazing mother and never think of yourself as anything less!
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