It is 2am and I just can't sleep. My mind is on overdrive. I have been thinking so much about Carden going to school. It is just coming TOO quick. We keep getting all this mail on who his teacher is and back to school night... I just can't believe he is really GOING TO SCHOOL!!!
My thoughts of homeschooling have been set aside because Justin and I feel that the schools are good and Carden needs that interaction with others. But here are my TRUE thoughts on why I really want to home school...
This song comes to my mind, "I have a family here on Earth. They are so good to me. I want to share my life with them...!" I really do want to share my life with them. With Justin's new job I feel like the world is ROBING me with this time I get to share with him here on this Earth. I know it is his role as a husband to provide but I just think that is TOO MUCH time away from our family! We get to see Daddy just for dinner and bedtime?! That is it?
Now the school district is going to take my child?! Luckily not all day! But it will come. I really am glad Kindergarten is only half day. I would not be able to handle a FULL day. I just think I will miss SO MUCH with Carden. I LOVE watching him grow. I love hearing him memorize things, sing songs, read books, count, add, subtract... Those are things that I want to SEE and REMEMBER, not some teacher!
Part of my patriarchal blessing says I will be good at training others. I used to ONLY think that meant dance teacher, but maybe I will be good at training my children through school?! I don't know. Homeschooling does sound overwhelming. I would for sure be nervous to do it all on my own, but it really would be worth it!
I guess I should finish the rest of my song, "I have a family here on Earth. They are so good to me. I want to share my life with them THROUGH ALL ETERNITY!" I guess I just need to remember that I will be with my family THROUGH ALL ETERNITY. Even though right now I want to be selfish and KEEP MY FAMILY here with me I know that I will be with them forever. I guess I will just have to adjust to having a kindergartener, just like I am adjusting to having a FULL TIME WORKING HUSBAND!!!:) Lots of NEW adjustments for me right now. I am loosing sleep over it but I think I will eventually be able to sleep again. Goodnight.
2 comments:
Kindergarten here is full day and it was hard to let me little one go! But you know what? He loved it. He loves school, loves his firends, loves eating in the cafeteria like a big kid, love recess, the whole 9 yards- he loves! I've found that my time with him was shortened, yes, but the time I did have with him was more meaningful- same thing applies to my husband who travels for his job half the year. I know you'll find the same thing too!! I've totally had a complex with Ethan growing up too fast, and it still makes me cry if I think about it too much, but it helps to think aout it as Heavenly Father's plan. He is suppose to grow up, get baptized, go on a mission, get married, it's all part of his mortal progression. Anyway, thinking that way helps me with the "sadness" I feel with him growing up too fast. You are a good mommy Marin! Keep up the good work raising those cute kiddos :)
I am with you on this, Marin. Homeschooling is always in the back of my mind. I love so much about it. The only thing that has held us back is that it's a big priority of ours to help our kids learn to socialize with other kids from all different backgrounds and the homeschool groups and opportunites I've seen in my areas are still kind of homogenous (athough they are getting more diverse). Anyway, sometimes I wonder if that should outweigh all the other considerations too though. I'm still figuring it out for us. I just wanted to say that I love this! I can't believe Carden is big enough for school. I'm sure he will love it and do great.
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