The Labor and Delivery Story

I had not planned to do a natural birth, but sometimes things don't go the way you planned. I feel like that is how my life has been since adding children to our family. It has been a rough road, but it is a road that I am so thankful to even get to go down! I love being a Mother. It is the greatest blessing.

Pregnancy number four was a surprise to both Justin and I. It was the most different pregnancy that I had. I was never sick with my other two pregnancies but this one I felt horrible. I was for sure I was going to have a girl since the pregnancy was so different. I had a hard time when I realized it was going to be a boy seeing I come from a family of all girls. As I drove home with Justin from the ultrasound I knew that the Lord needed me to raise righteous boys and AMAZING basketball players like their Daddy!

At our Stake Conference just before the baby was born this lady gave an amazing talk about raising righteous sons and making sure as Mothers to always share your testimony of the Savior each day. I felt like the talk was just for me. Throughout this whole pregnancy I have felt the Spirit and its promptings so clearly. I guess sometimes I just forget how much the Spirit can guide our lives if we just stop to listen and have faith. The first prompting came when I went to get my teeth cleaned. I had no idea I was pregnant but as I sat there getting my x-rays I felt the spirit. I knew that I wasn't supposed to be there. Luckily our baby is healthy and there was no complications, but I know that the Spirit was guiding me.

Another prompting came as I hiked to the top of the hill each day. I really didn't want to hike every day while being pregnant but I knew that that was something I needed to do. Carden came with me on a few hikes and he would love running through the "TICKLE GRASS" (the weeds). He would say, "Look Mommy the tickle grass is getting me!" It was these images that helped me through the natural delivery.

Mckay was supposed to come on December 24th Christmas Eve. We were going to name him Crew Willden Sweeney. We just found at least one of our common ancestors. Justin's great-grandma rhead's great grandpa charles william willden is marin's great-grandpa's great grandpa (on her mom's side). This means we are connected at the 6th generation. charles had 9 kids and my great grandma lillywhite rhead comes from his daughter (the 8th child) mary ellen elizabeth willden. marin's great grandpa arch livingston's grandma is his youngest child (#9) louisa willden.

so back in the 1850's our great-great-great-great grandma's where playing together as the youngest sisters in a huge family. who knew that over 150 years later two of their descendants would get married! (no wonder our kids have issues!) :)

his story is pretty cool. he was born in yorkshire england. baptized in 1849 and travelled 1139 miles doing "missionary work" in england. they finally made the journey to america on october 25, 1849 and arrived in New Orleans on christmas EVE with 1/2 a cent and some oatmeal in their pockets that others were going to throw overboard.

we're thinking this baby's middle name might be willden given the connection to both families and the fact that he arrived to america on christmas eve, the baby's due date.

Christmas afternoon around 4pm I started to have contractions. I decided to eat dinner and then after dinner we headed to the hospital. The contractions were pretty consistent with every 5-6 minutes part. We went in and they said I was still only a 2. They said they would induce me if I wanted but I decided to walk the hospital for an hour to see if any progression. There was still no progression so Justin and I decided to go home and enjoy our Christmas night eating ICE CREAM CAKE and watching Harry Potter. I pretty much didn't sleep the whole night because of contractions. Then the next day they stayed the same 5 minutes apart and felt the same. Around lunch time the contractions built up and felt more intense. I went on two long walks with Justin and held onto him with each contraction. I ate lunch and got through dinner while laying on the table with just my upper body and standing and banging my hand on the counter through each contraction.

I just didn't want to go to the hospital until I was for sure there was progression. I had talked to my sister in law about when she felt the contractions were actually GOOD contractions and she said she just waited till she was crying through them. So I decided I would do the same or at least wait until they got closer together, but they never did. However after dinner my contractions were making me cry and I was getting so tired. I remember thinking that the scariest thing would be to not have time to get my epidural. I felt another prompting that that was probably going to happen to me. So Justin and I went to the hospital on the 26th at 6pm. They checked me and said I was ALREADY a SEVEN! I IMMEDIATELY ASKED, "PLEASE PLEASE can I have my epidural!" The nurse just said we will see if we can get you a room first. I felt like Mary with no room in the Inn. There was barely a room for me to deliver in that night at the hospital. I was shaking and in such pain. They got me into a room and put in an IV. The doctor that was on call (i never get my doctor, sadly my doctor was home sick with the flu) came in and said I would have a baby within the hour and that the anesthesiologist just went downstairs for a c-section and that I probably would NOT have an epidural. I was SO SO SCARED and crying and just squeezing Justin's hand. I couldn't believe it was true that the nurses and doctors were telling me THERE WAS NOTHING they could do. I thought about Mary again having no place warm and soft to deliver the baby Jesus.

The doctor then said "You came here to have a baby right?" With tears in my eyes I said yes but not without an epidural. I wasn't prepared for a natural birth. I never took a class and I never even thought once about really having to HAVE a natural delivery. I just couldn't believe there was nothing they could do. The doctor wanted to break my water but I had hope that the epidural would get in on time. I told the doctor no for breaking my water and he left the room. Justin gave me a blessing. As he blessed me we both felt the love of our Savior and knew that the Savior descended below all things. He suffered every pain and He knew our pain. He endured the greatest pains and I knew that I could get through this. I knew that my Heavenly Father would help me.

As each contraction came I thought about my hike up to the top of the hill. Each day it was hard to hike to the top but once I reached the top it was beautiful to see the view. I knew that with each contraction I was getting closer to seeing that beautiful view of our baby boy. Justin didn't let go of my hand the whole time. I think it was around 7ish that they broke the water. The anesthesiologist came in and said she could try to give me an epidural but it probably wouldn't work in time. I had no idea what to do. I knew that every time I got an epidural it worked immediately and that I would still feel my legs and be able to push, but then I was already in so much pain that I didn't even want to think about rolling over to get the needle in my back. The only thing is though that with all my pregnancies the epidural has helped me go faster. Without it I was scared of having to push for two hours. The anesthesiologist said, "If you were my daughter I wouldn't give you an epidural." I just decided to give up and get this over with. I had already been in pain the whole day I might as well just get this over with.

The descending of the head KILLED me. Oh I got to the point I couldn't even talk. I didn't know what to do. I pushed twice and with each push I felt like every piece of me was being ripped into pieces. I wasn't going to make it. I felt like I was going to pass out. I kept thinking "WHY ARE THEY NOT LETTING ME HAVE AN EPIDURAL! I KNOW THAT IT WILL SPEED THINGS UP!" I was so sad and so mad. I thought I was really going to die. I then realized how women can die during a pregnancy. Luckily I only had one more push (three total) and the baby came out 7:57pm. I was shaking and even though he was out I still felt like I needed to give birth. I still felt so many contractions. The doctor laid the baby on my chest but I had no energy to even look at him or hold him. I felt paralyzed. It seriously took almost an hour before I finally felt like I could hold and nurse him. But then as I held him and nursed him I felt this immediate love and energy. He was so perfect. He is so perfect. I had made the hike to the top!

I told Justin I never wanted to do that again right after McKay was born. McKay was so calm though. He only cried out for his first breath of life but then when he was placed on my chest he was so quiet and calm. He never cried until the nurse took him from me. Even now he is so calm and just looks around and plays with his hands. I don't know if maybe he is a calmer baby because I didn't have an epidural or if that is just his nature. But if having a natural baby means having a calmer baby then maybe just maybe I would consider a natural birth again! As for the recovery they say it is faster but really I don't notice that big of a difference. It has been a real quick recovery and I feel great, but I'm not sure if that would be worth having a natural birth. I think just being healthy and in shape makes a difference in recovering fast. The body amazes me though because with all that pain I walked away with no tare, no stitch, no nothing. How can that be?!

While we still love the name "Crew Willden" we didn't want to be set on any one name before we saw this baby. With the other kids we decided on one name, this time we wanted to see him and get a feel for him first. Fittingly, since the delivery didn't go as planned neither did the name. Both Justin and I felt like this boy was a "McKay". We had 3 main names we liked, "Crew", "Alan" and "McKay". After seeing him and holding him it was obvious what his name should be. We went with "Justin" as the middle name because McKay did this lip thing right when he came out that looked just like Justin. It was SO cute. Plus we kind of had McKay and Justin paired together all along. Now I feel like we have to have another kid just to use Crew Willden! We'll see! :)